Quad Medical Advisor Credited with Classification of New Social Disorder

Following years of intensive research, Quadrathlon Chief Medical Advisor Dr. Annie Cooper has successfully classified a new branch of performance-based social anxiety disorder, now known as Quadophobia: the irrational fear of being publicly humiliated by superior Quad athletes.

“This is a legitimate medical condition, and not one to be taken lightly,” said Cooper in a recent statement. “Symptoms include regular appearances in the Circle of Fear, feigned injuries immediately before competitions, and general malaise.”

In response, two-time runner-up Des Carroll was quoted as saying, “If phobias are irrational fears, then these people don’t have a phobia, because the probability they will be embarrassed is quite high.”