Miriam Hale, facing the pressure of her first Quad, smiles with glee after successfully breaking her arm, allowing her to withdraw from competition."I wasn't sure it was even possible to break your arm in ballet," said Miriam from the comfort of her hospital bed, "but I really pulled it off! BOTH bones!"
Unfortunately for the rookie Hale, Quad precedent mandates that she be placed in the Circle of Fear, regardless of the injury's severity.
Competitor Johnny Hipps, who entered November in the peak of physical condition, now claims to be suffering from Swine Flu. Doctors are unclear on his long term prognosis, indicating he is highly lethargic and only responds to news stories relating to the price of gold or Susan B. Anthony coins.
Token family liberal Erin Bilbo said only that she was glad ObamaCare would soon be in place to ensure their quick and complete recoveries.
2 comments:
Miriam already said she is still participating in the Quad. No Circle of Fear for her!! Nice try, though. I knew you were scared, but I didn't realize you were scared enough to try to keep a fourteen year old from beating you. Wow, that's sad.
During my brief stay in the hospital, they doctor told me I would not be able the participate in the quad this year. I told him, that as a dedicated athlete, I would have to respectfully disobey his orders. My injury will not prevent me from competing in the 2012 quad. I plan to show up and dominate in all events with ease. I am extremely disappointed in the quad officials for stating my status in the circle of fear without first contacting me. The fact that grown adults would rule me out of the competition because they are afraid of being beaten by a little girl is somewhat pathetic. Can't wait to see y'all!!
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