QUADRATHLON

New 3rd Place Finisher Announced

2011-12-29T04:47:00.000-08:00

Following the completion of the 2011 official audit and re-count, Scott has emerged as the 3rd place finisher, leapfrogging over both Big John and Dean in the standings. Quad organizers were quick to blame both Anheuser Busch and the Miller Brewing Company for the errant initial reports.

Complete results:

2011 Odds Posted in Las Vegas

2011-12-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

Click on image for larger view:

Quad 2010 Schedule (as of 12/27)

2010-12-27T19:31:00.001-08:00

December 29th
Start	End	Activity	Location
4:00 PM	5:00 PM	Quad Opening Ceremonies	Strike and Spare
5:00 PM	7:00 PM	Jr. and Sr Quad Bowling	Strike and Spare
7:00 PM	7:30 PM	Jr. Quad Darts	Strike and Spare
7:30 PM	10:30 PM	Sr. Quad Darts	Strike and Spare
10:30 PM	11:00 PM	Universal Go-Cart Championship	Strike and Spare
December 30th
9:00 AM	9:30 AM	Jr. Quad Disc Golf	The Johnson Residence
10:00 AM	12:00 PM	Sr. Quad Disc Golf	Seven Oaks Disc Golf Course
12:00 PM	1:30 AM	Travel and Lunch	On your Own
1:30 PM	4:00 PM	Sr. Quad Pool	Snookers of Hickory Hollow
4:00 PM	6:00 PM	Break	NA
6:00 PM	8:00 PM	Jr. and Sr. Quad Awards Dinner	TBD

New Head Scorekeeper Announced

2010-12-25T14:07:00.000-08:00

Due to the inherent conflict of interest as a 2010 Quad competitor, Erin Bilbo has officially resigned from her 11-year tenure as Head Quad Scorekeeper. We thank Erin for her selfless service, and wish her success in all future endeavors.

As outlined in the Quad bylaws, Erin's responsibilities must be immediately assumed by her closest non-competing relative. In light if these events, please join me in welcoming our new Head Scorekeeper, Elizabeth Weigand.

Wizzy is a long time Quad supporter as well as a multi-year award ceremony host. She has proven her score-keeping abilities at multiple Quad bowling events, and is well schooled in spotting the "creative scorekeeping" of some Quad competitors.

Weigand's acceptance speech was brief, saying only, "I have to do what? Why?"

Competitor Faces Demotion to Junior Quad Following Bowling Defeat

2010-12-25T12:43:00.001-08:00

Following a brutal bowling defeat to Lane "Stump" Burke, two time-runner up Des Carroll now faces a possible demotion to the Junior Quad.

"The loss was brought to our attention by a group of concerned fans last night," said a senior Quad Official. "Considering Stump just recently learned why there are three holes drilled into the ball, we think it may be better for both the Quad's reputation and competitor Carroll's self-esteem if he voluntarily stepped down to the Junior event where his skills might be more evenly matched."

The response from Carroll came in via a poor mobile line, but his comments on the matter appear to be related to equine excrement.

Circle of Fear 2010 Announced

2010-12-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

Following the glory and honor bestowed upon those brave enough to enter the Quad, we must now assign shame and humiliation to the unfortunate Quadophobiacs who will not be participating in the 2010 event (click here for more information on this debilitating medical condition).

Click image above for larger version

UPDATE: Dave Weigand removed from CoF, and will compete!
UPDATE: Erin Bilbo removed from CoF, and will compete!

First Female Quad Competitor Finishes 4th

2009-12-31T15:11:00.000-08:00

Following a hot streak in Pool, first ever female Quadrathlon competitor Laura Sistrunk was not only able to complete all four challenging events*, but also managed to finish the event in 4th place overall. A feat many long-time competitors have never achieved.**

Deepening the controversy, Sistrunk's 4th place place finish also placed her higher than two time Quad runner-up Des Carroll (5th place). "This is complete horse$*!%," said Carroll in a colorful outburst following the event.

Laura's post event comments were short, saying only "I hope those black jackets come in women's sizes, because this is the last year I won't have one."

*List of Competitors not Strong Enough to Complete all 4 Events:

Patrick Bryde
Todd St.John
Bob Reissmann

**List of Competitors to Never Finish 4th or Higher:

Sean Hipps
Dave Weigand
Davis Burke
Brian Bilbo
Mark Shilstone
Dean Higginbotham
Scott Higginbotham
Kevin Cooper
Tim Hale

QCS Competitive Equation Values

2009-12-15T04:58:00.000-08:00

The Quad Competitive Committee released the QCS Competitive Equation Values (QEV's) that will be used to determine the level of competitive skill in each competing location.

Quick Reference of Values:

1: Denotes highest level of demonstrated skill over the previous 3 Quads

2-4 : Serious contender for 1st - 3rd place in event

5-14 : Moderate to low skill

15 : Assumed skill level of first time competitors

16-20 : Demonstrated ability appears to be lower than a random beginner off the street

Individual competitors' event scores will be weighted by the average value of their on-site competition. Example: If Brian Bilbo were to compete in Disc-Golf vs. Zack, Travis, and Mark, his CEV would be (4+19+7)/3 = 10 CEV. CEV will then be combined with margin of victory to determine the player's QCS rank.

Official petitions for changes to individual CEV's can be made in the Comments section of this post.

QCS Overview

2009-11-30T17:24:00.000-08:00

Event: Bowling
Scoring: Total Score, 3 consecutive 10-frame rounds.
Notes: Scorekeepers will be critical here. Competitors may play as many practice rounds as desired, but the beginning of official Quad play must be determined before the start of the game (read as: if you happen to throw a 250 during a practice game, you cannot decide after the fact to count that game as your first of 3). Please also note the games must be consecutive. This is not your best 3 games of 7, or in Johnny's case the best in the last year.

Event: Darts
Scoring: Total rounds required to close 2 full Cricket boards, called shots (gentleman's rules). One round = 3 darts. 3 hits each on 20,19,18,17,16,15, and Bull equals one cleared board. Called shots are just that -- you must specify at what number you are shooting before you throw. Luck or "trash" hits will not be counted.
Notes: This is an approved systemic change from standard Quad rules that provides an even scoring system for competitors in multiple locations, with the secondary benefit of stopping both of my brothers and father from complaining each year that they "drew the toughest first round board", allegedly causing them to finish poorly. It is still to be determined how all three of their different boards are simultaneously the toughest.

Event: Disc Golf
Scoring: 18 Holes, all holes Par 3. Individual scores will be adjusted using calculations that provide unified scoring amongst separate courses based on the level of competition and margin of victory.
Note: There must be at least 2 competitors scored on a given course to generate a computerized ranking. If you have never played, or if you are Dave, let's be frank -- just skip it. You will probably suck.

Event: Pool
Scoring: Double elimination 8-ball tournament. Rankings by location will be adjusted based on level of competition. Minimum of 4 players required to submit official scores.
Notes: Official scorekeepers must validate the legitimacy of the competitors. No playing against toddlers or imaginary friends this year, Big John.

Quadrathlon Championship Series Announced

2009-11-22T13:03:00.000-08:00

With a series of logistical challenges facing the 2009 Quadrathlon, the Quad Competitive Committee has announced the implementation of the Quadrathlon Championship Series, or QCS.

Similar to college football's BCS, the QCS provides a mathematical system for comparing the relative Quad performances of competitors in different locations to determine a unified champion. The QCS uses a number of inputs, including individual event performance, strength of competition, and margin of victory.

"With the QCS, competitors around the country can all compete in separate locations and still have an undisputed champion," said Bart Sistrunk, QCS Chair and 6-time Quad champion. "Even better, families that normally choose to run and hide and/or request foreign deployment during the Quad now have no excuse for not competing."

Applications are being accepted online for Official Scorers, who must be present at each competing location to validate and submit official event results. Erin Bilbo, Quad Head Scorekeeper, took a very firm position on the need for scorers, saying "participants will not be allowed to self-score under any circumstances, as experience tells us somewhere between 100 and 110 percent of the competitors will cheat if given the chance."

Full rules and details are expected to be published in the next few days.

2008 Official Results

2009-01-01T05:02:00.000-08:00

2008 Event Schedule

2008-12-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

The Official 2008 Quadrathlon Schedule is listed below. Competition will begin promptly at the times posted below.

Friday, Dec 26

6:00 PM - Welcome Banquet, Opening Comments The Burkes *

* Dinner will include Lisa Burke's Famous Fried Chicken Strips

Saturday, Dec 27

11:00 AM - Bowling Tusculum Lanes
4:00 PM - Pool Snookers Billiards

Sunday, Dec 28

11:00 AM - Frisbee Golf Seven Oaks Park

Monday, Dec 29

11:00 AM - Darts Marathon Sports Bar and Grill
6:00 PM - Awards Banquet The Weigands

"Little" John Shilstone Reinstated in Circle of Fear

2008-12-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

Following weeks of bravado and false pretense, Little John Shilstone has officially withdrawn from the 2008 Quadrathlon, citing work related causes.

"The worst part to me is the lameness of his excuse", said father "Big" John after hearing the news. "I mean look at my son-in-law Tim. His excuses not only involve national security, they frequently involve direct orders from the President of the United States. Very convincing." Siblings Mark and Anne were unavailable for comment.

Click here for more information on this debilitating medical condition: Quadophobia

Higginbotham Christmas "Retreat" Found

2008-11-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

Following weeks on intensive investigative research, Quad Manager and Reporter Eileen Hipps has identified the secret location of the Higginbothams' planned hiding place during the 2008 Quadrathlon.

Organizer Dean Higginbotham was unavailable for comment on the family's plan to hide, but has expressed concern with the renaming of the 2008 "Circle of Fear", to the more appropriate "Circle of Higginbothams."

The remote Montana cabin has been unused since the incarceration of its previous tenant.

Quad Medical Advisor Credited with Classification of New Social Disorder

2008-11-01T04:55:00.000-07:00

Following years of intensive research, Quadrathlon Chief Medical Advisor Dr. Annie Cooper has successfully classified a new branch of performance-based social anxiety disorder, now known as Quadophobia: the irrational fear of being publicly humiliated by superior Quad athletes.

“This is a legitimate medical condition, and not one to be taken lightly,” said Cooper in a recent statement. “Symptoms include regular appearances in the Circle of Fear, feigned injuries immediately before competitions, and general malaise.”

In response, two-time runner-up Des Carroll was quoted as saying, “If phobias are irrational fears, then these people don’t have a phobia, because the probability they will be embarrassed is quite high.”

PBA Dropped as Governing Body of Bowling Event, USBC Selected as Replacement

2008-10-31T05:02:00.000-07:00

Due to irreconcilable differences surrounding the PBA’s refusal to retract Etiquette Rule #7 – “Limit swearing and bad language as much as possible,” officials announced yesterday that all future Quadrathlons will be governed by United Stated Bowling Congress (USBC) official rulebook.

The stunning change follows the findings of Quad enthusiast Wizzy Weigand, or W², while scrubbing the rules in a blatant attempt to discover some form of unfair advantage for competitors Dave and Travis Weigand.

“Even if the PBA had agreed to amending Rule 7,” said chief Quad Negotiator Mark Shilstone, “we’d have never been able to overlook PBA Tournament Rule 15.12.1: Consumption of Alcohol While Competing, which states ‘Competitors may not consume alcohol on the tournament host premises until all of their competition is completed for the day.’ I mean, let’s get real.”

Multiple requests submitted by perennially struggling bowler Bart Sistrunk to adopt the use of Special Olympics rules have also been taken under advisement.

2008 Competitor List Announced, “Circle of Fear” Appropriately Renamed “Circle of Higginbothams”

2008-10-30T05:07:00.000-07:00

The following 17 competitors have confirmed their participation in the 2008 Quadrathlon (arranged alphabetically):

Brian Bilbo
Davis Burke
Zack Burke
Des Carroll
Kevin Cooper
Tim Hale
Johnny Hipps*
Sean Hipps
Mark Shilstone
“Little” John Shilstone
“Big” John Shilstone
Doug Sistrunk*
Bart Sistrunk*
Fred Sistrunk*
Todd St.John
Dave Weigand
Travis Weigand

* Denotes previous champion

The 2008 Circle of Fear will be composed entirely of Higginbothams, furthering suspicions that Quadophobia may have genetic ties.

2008 Champions' Poll Released

2008-10-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

The official 2008 Champions' Poll, similar to the AP and Coaches' polls used in collegiate athletics, has been released. The poll is a consolidation of detailed analysis and prediction from the four previous Quad Champions, generating a numerical score for each competitor to predict the 2008 order of finish.

COMPETITOR	POINTS
Doug Sistrunk*	85
Bart Sistrunk*	75
Johnny Hipps*	55
Big John	35
Fred Sistrunk*	25
Des Carroll	20
Zach Burke	5
Travis Weigand	5
Brian Bilbo	0
Davis Burke	0
Kevin Cooper	0
Tim Hale	0
Sean Hipps	0
Dave Weigand	0
Litttle John	0
Todd St. John	0
Mark Shilstone	-2
Scott Higginbotham	COF
Dean Higginbotham	COF
Keith Higginbotham	COF
Tom Womack	BFL
* Denotes Previous Champion

VOTE TODAY ON YOUR CHOICE FOR QUAD LOGO:

2008-09-27T17:50:00.001-07:00

In a dramatic attempt to foster a culture of democracy, 2008 Quad Director Eileen Hipps has called for an open vote in selection of the official 2008 Quadrathlon logo. "I believe it is important to increase the involvement level of both competitors and supporters of the Quad," said Hipps in a recent statement, "and if the popular vote matches the logo I want to use, the selection will absolutely be based on the popular vote."

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Official Hale Response

2008-06-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

To: 2008 Quad Participants and Family
There has been a gross misrepresentation on my behalf on the Quadblog site, which is quite obviously the work of cowards. I feel compelled to respond to the offender/s in the following manner. I did not volunteer to go to Guam last year. No, in fact I was deployed, at the direction of the President of the United States of America to maintain stability and security in a volatile region populated by rogue nations known to be armed with nuclear weapons. As important as this tasking was, I still did my very best to attend the 2007 Quad. The following information has, until now remained a closely guarded secret, but apparently must be brought to light.
In response to previous allegations of cowardess, (Quad 2007), and an overwhelming desire to compete, I initiated actions that have proven irreversible. In the fall of 2007 I requested Congressional intervention from Missouri Congressman Ike Skelton that would allow me to temporarily suspend my obligation to maintaining security in the Pacific Command AOR that I may be allowed to compete in the ‘07 Quad. I was not only denied this request, but what followed has been a sequence of events that have brought great pain to me and my entire family. First, I was directed miss the Quad and to fulfill my obligations to his great nation while assigned to the Air Expeditionary Force. During this assignment, my request to compete in the Quad was met with distaste by my leadership and excessive periods in the Andersen Air Force Base Air Traffic Control Tower fulfilling s duties as the Supervisor of Flying, (those true aviators that have ever commanded a real combat aircraft capable of strategic influence can understand the totality of such insult as being assigned SOF duties) . This punishment resulted in possible implication in the most expensive mishap in the history of the AF. I have done my very best to avoid subscribing to any conspiracy theories that may correlate that incident to my Quad request. I remained clear of further accusation, but I have since been further punished with an assignment that will not only remove me from flying status, but also forces me and my beautiful family to relocate to Alabama. This can only be interpreted as further persecution based upon my desire to compete in the Quad.
In spite of such shattering news I intend to pose an unforeseen threat in this year’s competition. Furthermore, as I move to an assignment that takes me away from my relentless duties of protecting this great nation from the forces of tyranny and evil I should have at least as much time as Des to hone my skills. In conclusion.

1) May the offenders who have attempted to tarnish my name suffer divine punishment for their slander.

2) Go to hell Ole Miss.

My prediction, Des and Bart cry like girls…..Sean Hipps in ’08.

I am quite certain that those who control the Quad website will, in typical fashion, attempt to suppress and/or distort this response. Please consider this correspondence as the source documentation and record copy of my response. Thank you.

v/r

Tim Hale

2007 ORDER OF FINISH

2008-01-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE:

Individual Event Results:

Bowling:
1st - Big John
2nd - Johnny Hipps
3rd - Travis Weigand

Darts:
1st - Bart Sistrunk
2nd - Mark Shilstone
3rd - Doug Sistrunk

Disc Golf:
1st - Doug Sistrunk
2nd - Des Carroll
3rd - Fred / Johnny (T)

Pool:
1st - Fred Sistrunk
2nd - Dave Weigand
3rd - Des Carroll

2007 Champions Crowned

2007-12-31T06:27:00.000-08:00

Following the closest competition ever, with only 6 points separating 4th and 1st, Doug Sistrunk reigns supreme as the undisputed 2007 Champion.
"What a long road its been from beer toter to Quad champion, " said Sistrunk about his victory. "Over the last seven plus years I've had but two goals: graduate from college, and win the Quad. Seeing as I've completed one, I will be finishing the other before the end of the summer. Despite the controversy surrounding this being the lowest scoring Quad ever I welcome the new competitors and the new challenges presented with our closest Quad ever. Thanks to all the competitors, and better luck next year you pack of losers."

INFOGRAPHIC

2007-12-23T11:14:00.000-08:00

Fred Sistrunk "Injured", Bilbo Enters Odds Board

2007-12-22T13:54:00.000-08:00

Less than a week from the start of competition, and in anticipation of the most competitive Quad ever, former champion Fred Sistrunk is now claiming to be "injured".

After completing her telephone diagnosis, Chief Quad Medical Advisor, Dr. Dianne Cooper, said only, "this type of injury (ruptured tendon in right arm) can sideline a player for months....he's really done his homework."

Shortly following the announcement, previously unranked competitor Brian Bilbo appeared for the first time on the Las Vegas boards at 18:1, an indication that oddsmakers have written Sistrunk off for the 2007 competition.

This most recent event adds to the long list of competitors playing with injuries, including Bart Sistrunk (broken toe), Scott Higginbotham (severed finger), Johnny Hipps (damaged retina), and Doug Sistrunk (inflamed ovaries).

Shilstone Speaks!

2007-12-22T04:16:00.000-08:00

Following weeks of silence, two-time runner-up John "Fireass" Shilstone made his first public statements involving the 2007 event (Comments below in maroon):

Group 1: Of course, returning champion, “Shoot from the Hipps” Johnny

The next four are in no particular order: Brian Bilbo, Sean Hipps, Travis Weigand, and Zachary Burke. They are the young ones and they have no fear. Remember Freddy, you and I are older than dirt. Put us together and have us fart at the same time and you’ll have one hell of a dust storm.

Group 2: In no particular order: Davis Burke, Dave Weigand, Mark Shilstone, and Kevin Cooper. Beware, young ones! These are the men of the shadows. They wait on their dark horses for one of you to trip and fall; and, suddenly, you will find them in front of you. Never look back on the men of the shadows for this is what they want. They want to take you away from your game plan.

Group 3: In no particular order: Freddy Sistrunk, Des Carroll, Bart Sistrunk, and Doug Sistrunk. As for Freddy, if he hadn’t been injured he still would’ve screwed up his game by always trying to do it the “correct” way. One fault and he always tried to figure out what he did wrong, which made him lose his concentration of the game. Des, we’ve already explained that Des can’t perform two tasks at once. Example: Disc or beer? Disc or beer? What do I do? Doug, let’s see. . . An 82 at bowling? It seems that Doug has acquired the same gene as Des. Pick up ball, roll ball. . . pick op ball, roll ball. . .What do I do? What do I do? Bart will return this year with a repeat of last year’s showing. How do I know this? I had a phone conversation with Kelly and she informed me that Bart will be on the same time restraints as last year. Bart will be worried if he can get to Kelly in time to do her hair, makeup and nails. He will lose his concentration again.

Now we come to Fireass. . . As you know, I was inflicted with a game-ending injury to both feet. For months I’ve experienced excruciating pain in both feet. With the help of my beautiful, caring, and highly intelligent doctor (Yes, that is Dr. Dianne Cooper) I have been put on a regiment of pain medicine and medicine to promote healing of the nerves in my feet. Herein lies the problem. . . I find myself breaking one of the cardinal rules of the Quad. Because of the medication, I will not be able to drink the golden juice. Combining the medicine and the “juice” could cause great harm to my body. Therefore, this is what will happen: 1. I will compete at 50% in all facets of the Quad. 2. I will do my best to complete every competition in the Quad. 3. I will have all scores tallied and posted on the Quad official board. 4. But, because of my blatant breaking of the rules, I will put myself in last place for the entire Quad. Even knowing that all the laughter that, once again, I have beaten Des – It will not count.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Now to all my competitors, I say, “Let’s get ready to stumble!!!!”

Yours,

John “Fireass” Shitrock

Yahoo! Sports Announces 2007 Fantasy Quad League

2007-12-17T11:35:00.000-08:00

Building on the success of their Fantasy Football league, and recognizing the rapid growth of the Quadrathlon, Yahoo! Sports announced today the launch of a 2007 Quadrathlon Fantasy League. The league allows fans to draft their own Quad Teams, which will be scored based on the actual players' performance in each event.

Early evidence indicates John Shilstone will be "the Ladanian Tomlinson of Fantasy Quad," and is expected to go as the first pick in 85% of draft pools.

Competitive Board Reviewing Quad Substance Aviodance Policy

2007-12-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

Following the recent series of "substance abuse" incidents in Major League Baseball surrounding performance-enhancing drugs, the Quad Competitive Board is currently reviewing the event's policies surrounding "substance avoidance".

" 'Substance avoidance' is the deliberate abstention from drinking beer during the Quad with the intent of gaining a competitive advantage over those who are drinking," said Mark Shilstone, Quad Chairman of Competitive Parity. "The Quad was founded as an excuse to drink beer, and these recent events spit in the face of the spirit from which the Quad was born. Oh, and those who don't drink can kiss my ass."

Though substance avoidance will not result in any direct scoring penalties, as with Barry Bonds future Quad champions suspected of Substance Avoidance will forever have their records marred by an unwritten asterisk, saying "Sure he won, but he only drank one Zima all week."

Competitor Self Assessments

2007-12-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

In the interests of (1) offering fair "air-time" and (2) mitigating the risk of costly libel litigation, the Quadrathlon Board has encouraged each competitor to complete their own self-assessment.

Kevin Cooper (Odds not Posted) Comments:

I WILL be arriving in the Nashville area on the 24th of December. My fan club and I will be staying at the elite Weigand retreat, and I will be available for interviews after 6PM on the 24th. I'm looking forward to seeing all the family.....and then whoopin their asses.

Davis Burke (Pictured with loving spouse who, based on Davis's current zero votes, voted for someone else to win) Comments:

Although overlooked and given shitty odds yearly by the
oddsmaker, I am not intimidated by any of you. Years of quiet observation of my fellow competitors has given me a wealth of valuable data on weaknesses and kinks. Just remember, it's always the quiet ones.

Zack Burke (Successfully attempting to intimidate opponents with bull-like neck display) Comments:

Sadly, I have become wrapped up in a new sport....wrestling.
And unfortunately, I am the only team member in my weight class
(148-155). I also have the misfortune of having a SCROOGE for a coach who has planned practices and tournaments during the Christmas holiday. I have to practice the 26-28th from 9-12. I am hopeful that the Quad Board will take this into account when planning the beginning times for events. I want to be there to kick any and all asses!

Mark Shilstone (Odds not Posted) Comments:

I didn't even concern myself with looking at the numbers pulled out of the Vegas oddsmakers asses this year. I have no doubt that I have been underestimated yet again. As a perennial middle-of-the-packer, it might be hard to argue with that. I will remain a dark horse for another year...with the ability to excel in any of the events and the lack of consistency to come in last place in any one of them as well. A loose canon, if you will. A dark horse ridden by a sleeper shot out of a loose canon over an underdog...you never know. Unfortunately, I never know, either. One thing I DO know, however, is that I have spent most of my time in the past year training for the unofficial fifth event: drinking a lot of beer. And I hereby pledge to be an ambassador of the spirit of the Quad competition by doing just that. I also challenge every other competitor of legal age to recommit themselves to the spirit of the Quad by doing the same. It may give me the only chance I have of a top three finish. With that being said, here is my prediction for the 2007 Quadrathlon: Old farts beware!! This is the year of the up-and-comers!! The young guys are going to make us all look stupid in 2007. Sean has been under the tutelage of the current champion with superior training facilities, Travis will crush everyone in bowling, Brian has grown 2 1/2 feet this year, and let's just face it, Zach is a better athlete than all of us. Coupled with the fact that these guys can't drink beer, they are primed to do well. Will they win? Probably not, but they will make us look our ages.

Dave Weigand (Odds not Posted) Comments:

Everyone needs to watch out . Elizabeth has me on a intensive training schedule of tidying up the house and doing laundry. I know how it feels to be a real man !

Johnny Hipps (4:1) Comments:

Fred's only chance of fulfilling the 12-1 odds is if a senior event is opened this year. Des's only chance at 12-1 is if the other competitors don't show.
I think the rest of the odds are right on as my pre-odds attest too. I feel that Davis Burke is worth mentioning as the silent assassin, who waits in the wings for this years Quad.The three Junior amigos are not to be ruled out this year from passing Fred and Des in the overall Quad standings. My only question is whether or not I should even waste the time to bring the Quad trophy to Nashville only to have to bring it right back. It is only fair to let everyone enjoy and dream.......of one day holding it over their heads in victory as I will this year!!!!

Fred Sistrunk (12:1) Comments:

Time will show who the REAL champion is.........

Des Carroll (12:1) Comments:
I think my odds are about average. I was throwing the frizbee with Brian and Zack, and I have to be honest those kids are up and coming. Doug can throw the hardest hands down, but all we need there are a couple of unlucky tree strikes, or a little tiff with the girlfriend, and he will crumble like last years crumble cake. Dad is always a threat in bowling, but there is a "new release" he is using for frizbee, and you know how the new styles usually go with Dad. It is mostly alot of talking about the new deal and then throwing it the exact same way, no change this time. Now, we get to uncle John. Apparently we have unconfirmed reports of a stupefying 280 bowling score -- he is a triple threat, its amazing that Mark is even related to him.

Sean Hipps (Odds not Posted) Comments:

My Christmas list has three things:
2 games, a new Computer, and WINNING THE QUAD!!

I have cleared a spot in my room for the Trophy, while I am young and small I am a dangerous force. Having completed a college course in disc golf over the summer my odds are good. I really don't want to badmouth anyone since I could still be beaten up! With this said.....I have no fear!

Travis Weigand (20:1) Comments:

Results will speak for themselves.

Brian Bilbo (Odds not Posted) Comments:

My odds are looking substantially better this year. I pity the fool who underestimates me. (13-1)

Additional comments to be posted upon submission.

Review Board Reverses Circle of Fear Decision

2007-12-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Amidst tremendous public outcry, Tim Hale, Chairman of Quad Circle of Fear (CoF) Exemptions, has requested the removal of former competitor Scott Higginbotham from the 2007 CoF. "After careful consideration of all consequences and precedence that may be set," said Hale in a recent public statement, "I feel compelled to stay true to my brethren airman and bomber pilot extraordinaire.....remove Scott from the Circle."

Per Exemption Board guidelines, as a fellow member of the USAF Hale's vote takes precedence over Carroll's when evaluating other USAF members, making the exemption official. Carroll was unavailable for comment.

Due to the time lag between Scott's initial placement and ultimate removal, the 2007 CoF shirts have already been printed. Subsequently, all shirt recipients are required to point out Scott's name to admirers and say "exempt", or cover the name with a piece of tape.

Following Son's Successful Appeal, Father Requests Exemption

2007-12-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

Despite previous acceptance of his 2007 Circle of Fear status, following his son's successful protest and appeal Dean Higginbotham has now submitted an official request for removal.

"I am very disappointed by the lack of consideration by my competitors and so-called friends for the very important job of taking care of granddaughters and my wife's hair and nails," said Dean. "In light of past service to my country and present service to my family, I certainly deserve consideration for removal from this Circle, which only really exists in the minds of the confused and afraid."

Many Circle of Fear experts anticipate that his appeal will be successful, based on the recently established precedent of leniency for members of the USAF. The official ruling is expected within a week.

Cooper Requests Late Entry; Higginbotham Protests "Circle" Status

2007-12-07T06:59:00.001-08:00

Following the announcement of the 2007 "Circle of Fear", multi-year competitor Kevin Cooper has requested late-entry into the 2007 Quad.

"I WILL be arriving in the Nashville area on the 24th of December. My fan club and I will be staying at the elite Weigand retreat, and I will be available for interviews after 6PM on the 24th" , said Cooper during a heated press conference. Cooper closed by saying only "I'm looking forward to seeing all the family, and then whoopin their asses." Needless to say, Cooper's late-entry request was unanimously approved.

On the darker side of competition, despite his confirmed unexcused absence Scott Higginbotham has requested a formal retraction of his Circle status.

Higginbotham's request: "While I have almost completely recovered from the horrific injury suffered in the 2005 Quad (partially severed index finger resulting in significant blood loss and irreparable emotional trauma ), I regret that I will once again be unable to participate in this year's event. I am currently in my AEF deployment window, meaning I am 'on call' until January and cannot be more than 6 hours away from base until then. So, while I am preparing for a possible 5th combat deployment, you all please enjoy your games. Put me in your "circle of fear" if you must - but realize it is not fear that keeps me away, but an undying devotion to duty and love of freedom. The very same freedom you exercise as you gather to compete for the coveted Quad Trophy. Also - kiss my ass."

The request was denied the following day by Quad Chairmen of Circle Exemptions Des Carroll and Tim Hale, who revealed that chartered flights are available 24 hours a day at what Carroll only referred to as a "reasonable cost, all things considered".

Carroll Develops Blister on Non-Throwing Hand

2007-12-01T15:26:00.000-08:00

Requests Use of Cart During Frisbee Golf

Following the appearance of a small blister on his left little finger, highly ranked competitor Des Carroll has submitted a request to the Quad Medical Review Board that would allow him to ride in an electric golf cart during the 2007 Disc Golf event.

"I mean, if Casey Martin can use a cart in professional golf events, why can't a differently-abled person like myself use one in the Quad?"

Fred Sistrunk, the Quad Chairman of Medical Exemptions, quickly released his official position, saying only, " 'blister' my ass".

Doug Sistrunk Bowling Improving

2007-12-01T05:44:00.000-08:00

Bowls Single Game 82

Following weeks of intensive practice, Doug Sistrunk's bowling efforts appear to be paying off, culminating in a single game 82.

"Well, I'm not implying I will average 82 in the actual Quad, but knowing you can get there really takes the pressure off," said Sistrunk. "That should put me at least 20 pins ahead of Dave, Des, and Mark."

No 2007 competitors were available for comment.

Circle of Fear Shirts Now Available

2007-11-25T11:05:00.000-08:00

"Circle of Fear 2007 " commemorative t-shirts are now available for purchase at participating retail outlets.

The Quadrathlon Circle of Fear highlights the competitors each year who are too paralyzed by fear to show their faces at the Quad. "Well, if the Higginbothams can't win an actual event, at least this gives them the opportunity to dominate something," said Johnny Hipps, 2006 Champion.

Other competitors were also quick to comment, including John Shilstone, saying "just because Mark gets his *ss kicked by his ol' dad each year is no reason for Little-John to hide in shame, but in fairness neither of them really have any chance of winning."

Military participants who are deployed and defending our very right to Quad are exempt from the Circle, this year including Tim Hale, but no other excuses are accepted.

Las Vegas Posts 2007 Odds

2007-11-24T10:51:00.000-08:00

The following odds have been published by the Unified Sports Gambling Association (USGA) for the 2007 Winter Quadrathlon, hosted this year in Nashville, TN from December 27-29.

All competitors not listed are considered to be at such long odds that placing bets on them automatically qualifies the better for federally funded remedial financial management counselling in 37 states. Please click on the following link for additional information: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/

Listed by current odds:

COMPETITOR	2007 Odds	Best Overall Finish	2006 Finish	Best Event	Weakness(s)
Hipps, Johnny	4:1	1	1	Billiards	Extreme overconfidence
Shilstone, John	4:1	2	2	Bowling	Seems to enjoy finishing second
Sistrunk, Bart	4:1	1	3	Disc Golf	Has lost the "Eye of the Tiger"
Sistrunk, Doug	8:1	2	4	Disc Golf	Cries during competition, blurring vision
Sistrunk, Fred	12:1	1	5	Darts	Distracted by perceived cheating
Carroll, Des	12:1	2	N/A	Billiards	Cannot remember event rules
Weigand, Travis	20:1	8	6	Bowling	Long hair reduces aerodynamics

Coming next week: The Circle of Fear!

2006 "Champion" Faces Doping Allegations

2006-12-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

Only hours after accepting the coveted Quadrathlon Ribbon of Victory, Johnny Hipps championship reign was thrown into question following harsh allegations of illegal blood doping. Allegorical proof was forwarded to authorities immediately following the competition by an anonymous source (pictured left).

"We knew he really wanted to join the championship ranks," said the source, "but we didn't know he would stoop this low."

Medical Review Board chairman Fred Sistrunk indicated that official testing had not been conducted, but would most likely not be needed since Johnny clearly could not have won unaided. "It's really unfortunate for the competitive spirit of the Quad that we would have a champion win under such questionable circumstances" said Sistrunk.

An official ruling from the Competitive Committee is expected by the end of the week.